Final blog

Throughout this past semester I have learned so much about myself. Through my practicum I have been working weekly with a small group of girls who I have really grown close with and I am not looking forward to leaving. They have shared so openly with me and have gotten me to remember what junior high was like. My co-leader and I have really bonded well in these past few months; I believe that she has become a friend of mine. Through some books I have been reading I have come to the realization that God has set me apart all of my life and I need to be rejoicing in that. God has made me so that I do not necessarily need a large group of friends. It has become evident to me that friends come in all sorts of ways, and I love that. 

This past week, as I said in my last blog, I gave my testimony, and although I was nervous I think it went really well. I strongly believe that through giving your own story you open up doors for others to share their own stories, and I am excited to see what my willingness to share will lead others to do. 

Professionally through this practicum I have learned that organization is key. By keeping my life organized I have been able to give my advisor time to get done my evaluations and set up meeting times. I have also learned that God has gifted me in ways that will help me in youth ministry and I can rely on that. As I looked at my past blogs I realized that a lot of the time I may have been overwhelmed, not wanting to drive, or just plain negative on my way to youth group, but once I got there my whole attitude would change. I am strengthened through helping teens and I am encouraged when I see progress, and I think that that is a good sign. 

I have mentioned this before, but it just keeps proving to be true, and that is that although ministry is about teaching, it is even more so about learning. God has shown me that I do struggle with praying, but I believe that I can overcome that, and be better because of my struggles.

Week 10

This week youth group was back in session. I went to Sunday school and found out Aaron's family was all sick so he couldn't make it, so I was asked if I wanted to give my testimony. So, this Sunday I gave my testimony to the group. I was a little nervous because I made it pretty personal and I wasn't sure how I would emotionally react while reading it. The group listened really well and focused on what I had to say. Alot of the group was not there because many of the eighth graders had just gotten back from their Washington DC trip. I was hoping everyone would be there to hear my testimony, but I realize that God knew who would be there that night, and planned it accordingly. I felt really old giving my testimony, it was weird because I remember sitting where they were and hearing people tell us their testimonies. I was surprised at how peaceful I was, but I really feel like God gives me a confidence when dealing with kids and teens. 

Week 9

Okay so youth group was once again canceled last week...but this time I called to find out ahead of time! I was kind of discouraged by it because this means I will only have two weeks left at the youth group and with my small group. I know I will really miss the girls, hopefully we can all have a sleep over sometime this summer. I just hope we don't lose everything that has been gained. I feel like the girls really trust me and I hope that I don't lose that by not being there this summer. I will keep up with them through email, but it's just not quite the same. I am really ready for school to be done and go home and hopefully work at a camp this summer, but I will miss all my new friends so much. It's a bitter sweet. I have a feeling this summer is going to be a big deal, so I am excited. I know that I am ready to grow as much as I can and become more on fire for God.

Week 8

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I guess it is because the youth group has been canceled a lot. I was supposed to give my testimony a couple of weeks ago (Aaron wasn't going to be there), but the worship band couldn't make it, and their were other conflicts for the leaders that night, so it was canceled. Then on Easter Sunday there was not youth group either.  This past Sunday I was pretty excited to get back with the group and my small group and I drove there only to come to a locked church...it is the students spring break this week and I guess they decided to cancel youth group because no one was going to come. I am really hoping everything works out okay next week because I really want to get back to the youth group. 

Week 7

On the Friday of Fusion I signed up to help at the necklace making site. I was pretty excited to be involved, but when I got there none of the students showed up... they were all in the gym socializing. I can't wait for for the next Fusion's that I will be here for at IWU, and hopefully I can be more and more involved as I get further and further into the youth ministry program.  I housed some high schoolers for a visitation day this past week and it was pretty cool to see how excited they were to move to the next stage in there life. I can't believe this year is coming to a close so fast...it seems like I have just arrived here and I know it will it get faster. I am getting excited about my future and also nervous, but I think nerves are a good thing, they make you more real. 

Week 6

Tonight was pretty cool coming back from break because even though it was a long day because of driving and stuff, I was really excited to be back with the youth group. I can tell they are ready for warm weather and tired of school, but they still have an enthusiasm that you just don't find many places besides a junior high youth group. In my small group I shared a lot about a message my pastor at my home church gave that day and I really enjoyed sharing it with them (it was about preparing yourself everyday to fight for God and putting on your "armor") and helping them to see how it applies to their everyday life. After the group my co-leader told me that she was really liking having me there with her and she thought that it was really working out well and that really encouraged me.  Next week Aaron is not going to be there with the junior highers and so he was planning on canceling it, but after talking with my co-leader and I we thought we could do a game night and worship without him. He then mentioned (kind of jokingly) that my co-leader could give a message and she then passed that to me, and so I decided to give my testimony this coming Sunday. I am a little nervous and I really don't know how deep to go with it, but I really feel like they maybe need to be out of their comfort zones a little bit. So I am excited, nervous, and I even feel ready for this next step in leading. 

Week 5

Tonight youth group was pretty much the same as every other night.  It started off with worship and Aaron's message, then we ate and played basketball. While the junior high was eating I got to talking to one of the high school girls who helps lead worship. I really enjoyed it because she is a senior in high school and I feel like we could be friends because of how close we are in age. My co-leader was back from her vacation. Tonight in the small group we talked about "the meaning of life." At first the girls did not have much to say on the topic and were really hyper, but after we introduced the topic a little more they really thought about it.  We talked about why we believe what we believe, for example why we believe that certain things are good or bad. The girls really started to think about these questions and realized that even though they believe that things are good or bad, does not mean other people will and that we need to show them how to be good and tell them why (be a living example.)  At the end we took prayer requests and the other leader asked if anyone would like to pray.  I realized that like the junior high girls, I am uncomfortable with praying in front of others.  It kind of shocked me to see that I have not grown much in that area in the past couple of years.  I realize that it is probably because I do not pray enough when I am alone to feel comfortable doing it out loud. I really want to focus on growing in that area because I feel like if I can grow in talking with God than other areas of my life will improve along with it. 

Week 4

Tonight the other leader of my small group was driving home from a mini vacation so I was in charge of the meeting. I was a little nervous and did not know what we should do. We had just finished the first section of the book we are reading and I wasn't sure whether we should move on or not considering one of the leaders couldn't be there and two of the girls were gone. So I was thinking about how we have been talking about holding our tongues and being positive (encouragers) and  I came up with writing notes of encouragement to someone that they know.  They really seemed to take to my idea and so we sat in a circle and wrote notes to people.  It was really fun because they talked a lot about their lives and school problems.  I felt like I got to know the girls a lot more and was glad that they are feeling comfortable enough around me to talk about their personal problems. 

Week 3

Tonight's youth group was like every other night...It started off with worship, a lesson, food, and then free time. One thing that I have found interesting is that for some reason I get it in my head sometimes that I do not want to go to youth group. There are usually various reasons for me to not want to go, but tonight's reasons were that I have too much to do, it is too cold, and I do not feel like driving.  They are weak excuses, but it is how I felt.  Now the funny part is as soon as I get there my attitude changes...in fact I can be having a "down" day (and being negative), but as soon as I get to youth group, for some reason none of that stuff matters to me anymore.  It is like by being with the students I realize that all the stupid little things that make my life hectic do not really matter in the scheme of things.  What really matters are God and His people, and showing those people God's love. I know I am the one who is supposed to be "teaching," but I think it is the opposite, they (and the whole experience) are teaching me. 

Week 1

I realize I am posting this a little late...but I really forgot about posting weekly and I feel like two Sundays ago was important too. 

Like always we started off with worship and Aaron's message, and then food and games (we played the card game spoons, which was fun because I am pretty good at that game and I think once the kids see that you are good at something that they are good at they have more respect for you) 

After all of that, I co-lead a small group of girls. This was my first week with them, and I was a little nervous to see how it would go. We are going through a book together and the beginning talks about holding our tongues, which I think is a really good thing to talk about because I feel like that was a huge issue in junior high. 

The girls often got sidetracked, could not sit still, and would go into random fits of giggles, which I thought was awesome and exactly how I remember middle school. They told lots of stories and were completely honest. I gave my two-cents and they rolled with it and I got them to laugh a couple times. I was worried that they would be uncomfortable with me being there, but I think I fit right in and helped them to see a different view on why people swear and how we should react. 

I cannot wait for our next meeting and to see the girls again, it is so much more fun and exciting once you get to know a couple of them. 

Week 2

This Sunday was super-bowl sunday, which meant that youth group was a little different than usual. It started off with worship (like always.) I used to feel like I should be doing more to connect during this time, but I now realize that by praising God without fear I am being an example for them.  I believe that most of the students feel uncomfortable during worship and just by being there and by being a good example, I am helping more than if I were to talk at this time. 

Worship usually last about twenty minutes and then Aaron (the youth pastor) goes up and gives a short message, usually lasting about fifteen minutes (but longer because sometimes junior high students are hard to get focused); this weeks was about time wasting. It's funny because a lot of the time I feel like I connect with his lesson more than the others I have heard throughout my week. Hopefully I will be able to give a couple messages sometime in this semester.  

After the message we ate and watched the super bowl. I really enjoyed this week because since the high schoolers were playing dodge ball on one half of the gym and the super bowl was being played on the other half, I got an opportunity to sit for a longer period of time and talk to some of the students in the youth group. I was really encouraged this week because I really seemed to connect with some of the girls from my small group. 

Overall I was there from 5pm-9pm and I really wanted to stay later, but it got icy so I thought I better get back. 

This week I am really going to try to pray about the youth group and for some of them individually...because I feel like I do not talk to God as much as I should and maybe praying for others instead of praying for myself will be a good solution.